


parents

by fabulousfairytales



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Aftermath of Coming Out, Canon Compliant, Comfort/Angst, Coming Out, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, mention of covid, post 17x07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 19:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30043245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabulousfairytales/pseuds/fabulousfairytales
Summary: Nico finds Levi crying in their on-call room. Levi misses his mom. Nico reminisces about his own parents.
Relationships: Nico Kim/Levi Schmitt
Comments: 18
Kudos: 57





	parents

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooo there! I started this thanks to a prompt i got on tumblr. Another ask I got later didn't leave my head so i patched them together. And then I patched another drabble that was almost done to it and this is now the end result of all of that. If it's a bit messy... So it coming out LOL.

6 Hours. 6 hours left until the end of his shift. Only 6 more hours until Nico can finally pack up his things and go home. Until he’ll finally be able to take the shower that he’s been looking for so long already. Maybe he’d eat some of his leftovers from the taco bowl that’s been slowly decaying in his fridge. Last time he checked it still looked fine. Or maybe he’ll just pass out face first on his couch the second he'll lay his eyes on it. Unless he brought a _special someone_ with him, it was a 50/50 to be completely honest. 

It’s been 18 hours into his shift and Nico was already severely exhausted. The 24 hour shifts were a product of the hospital being chronically understaffed at all times and the fact that a part of people was still trying not to go to the ER or even their family physicians unless they were on the brink of death already. They were losing patients they shouldn’t have to lose. A lot of them. Bodies were still stacking in the morgue. 

Nico was almost glad he had to work for two. That way he was busy with people’s bones at all times and didn’t have opportunity to lose as many patients as his coworkers did. 

Ready to lay down and close his eyes for at least 5 minutes, he opened the door to his favorite on-call room. The one Levi and him would often meet up for their little _stress relief_ naps. Whenever he got here, he hoped to see him in there. Not because he had the energy for their bed exercises at all times, but because he just… missed the warmth that Levi radiated wherever he was. 

When he closed the door behind him, he couldn’t help but to smile. He indeed, found Levi in one of the beds, blanket pulled over his head, only his messy curls poking out. Nico recognized his silhouette anywhere. 

“Oh hey there,” he greeted him as he sat down next to him, running his hand through the soft hair. 

Levi jumped and a sob escaped his throat that immediately wiped the smile off Nico’s face. He saw the pillow in Levi’s arms. He must’ve used it to deafen the sobs that now rattled his body and poured out of his mouth as he clung onto the pillow to hide his face in. 

It broke Nico’s heart. Even after they broke up, he had never seen him like this. Probably because Levi didn’t wanted him to. But this – this was different. 

Levi looked so broken. So hopeless. 

Nico got up to lock the door and slipped back into bed, wrapping his arm around Levi to hold him for however long Levi needed him to. 

After a while, the sobs got quieter, Levi’s body stopped shaking and he slowly entangled himself from Nico’s arm to sit back up and lean against the wall. He wiped the tears away with his hands. 

Nico leaned over to the nightstand on his side to give him a tissue.

“Thank you,” Levi mumbled before blowing his nose with it. Nico sat up next to him and patted Levi’s knee. 

“What happened?” Nico asked. He’s heard about Levi’s patient. But Levi usually needed to talk things out. Nico was different in that regard, but he didn’t mind if that’s what Levi needed. He liked being there for him. 

Levi sighed and threw away the tissue. It landed right next to the bin. He leaned over to pick it up and threw it again. This time it danced around the brim of the bin, before finally tipping over and landing inside. 

“I lost another one,” he said quietly. “I’m tired of losing patients like this.” 

“Yeah.” Nico wrapped an arm around Levi’s shoulders. “It sucks,” he added, leaning his head against Levi’s. His curls tickled Nico’s nose.

“It does,” Levi agreed. 

Nico wanted to stay here forever. Just him and Levi. Alone, but together. He still didn’t know what they exactly were right now. But he was too afraid to get a reply that he didn’t want to hear. He was okay just being with Levi and being there for him. If Levi didn’t want to call Nico his boyfriend, he was fine with it. It was better than outright rejection. 

Levi wiggled his arm around Nico’s waist, pulling him closer. Then he muffled something that Nico identified as “I miss my mom.” 

_Shit._ Nico didn’t know what to say. _I know? I’m sorry? Have you talked to her_ _ever since you moved out? Do you regret leaving her?_ Instead, Nico kissed Levi’s temple and gently stroked his upper arm. 

“I miss her so much it hurts sometimes. I don’t even know how she’s holding up right now.” 

“Do you want to ask her?” 

Levi shook his head. “I just – I just want to know. You know, how she is. She’s probably freaked out of her mind by now, hiding in her house. Alone. Lonely.” He buried his face in Nico’s chest. 

“I hate it. I hate all of it. I don’t even like hating things.” He left a small, wet stain on Nico’s shirt. Nico took Levi’s left hand between his’ and kissed the back of it. 

“I hate that she’s like that. That she couldn’t just be proud of me. That she acted like me being gay was some sort of dirty little secret that needed to be buried. That I had to leave her like this. And now we’re in a damn pandemic and after all I can’t help but to still worry about her.” His voice was trembling and eyes were still teary. Nico ran his thumb over the back of his hand in circles. 

“You know, you don’t have to completely cut her out if you don’t want to. If you want to check in with her, that’s okay. It’s your decision,” Nico reassured. 

Levi nodded slowly. “But I don’t… I mean – She hasn’t checked in either. And I don’t want to – I don’t know,” he trailed off. 

“That’s okay.” Another kiss against Levi’s temple. “Checking in doesn’t mean forgiving her for everything though.” 

“Hmmm…” Levi buried his face again in Nico’s chest, tightly wrapping his arms around him, holding onto him like he’s the only thing keeping him together right now. 

Nico felt the same. 

\- 

The sun had been long gone by now, the only light illuminating the room, coming from Levi’s bedside table. Next to it, his glasses and phone. Levi laid sprawled across Nico, legs entangled, his right hand playing with one of Nico’s floppy curls. 

Nico adored the way Levi looked at him when he was wearing neither contacts nor his glasses. He’d lean in closer than usual, studied him even more thoroughly. It was a different kind of look from when they were in surgery together or when Nico had taught him new operating methods. He frowned, his lips slightly lips, but right now, it had a different feel to it. One that wouldn’t exist in an OR or hallway while thinking about a patient. 

In here, in Nico’s bed, while he was focusing on mesmerizing the small mole under Nico’s lips, there was a certain carefreeness and warmth to it, that Nico just adored so much to see on him. 

Nico’s hands rested on Levi’s back, tracing random patterns with his fingers onto his soft skin. 

“I think… I want to call my mom,” Levi said as he reached over to the table to get his phone. 

“Oh.” It’s been a week since the last time he mentioned her. “Do you want to be alo –” 

“No,” Levi interrupted, his eyes locked on Nico’s, almost pleading. “No. Stay.”

Nico’s heart skipped a beat at the request. He had hoped that Levi would let him be there for him. 

“Of course.” _Anything you need, baby._

Levi sat up and started at his mom’s opened contact. The last time he called her was several months ago, approaching a year soon. 

Nico positioned himself next to Levi and touched his knee, giving it a soft squeeze and pressing a small kiss against his shoulder. 

Having gathered up enough courage, Levi finally pushed the call button and held the phone against his ear. Nico heard the beeping of the line trying to connect him. 

Until it stopped. 

She had picked up. 

Complete silence filled the room. It took Levi a moment until he found his voice again. “Hey mom. It’s – it’s me.” 

Nico didn’t envy him. He has watched several of his friends cry over the loss of their parents. Their living parents. He’s watched them grieve, move on and on occasion, eventually forgive them. He’s watched his friends forgive the people that were supposed to love and support them no matter what, abandon them over parts of them that they didn’t get to choose. 

In his second year of college, Sean, Nico’s childhood friend, told him that he made up with his parents. At the age of 16, Sean got kicked out by his father for getting caught making out with a boy in the garage. That day, Nico decided that he won’t ever tell his parents. 

“I’m doing fine. The hospital is very busy, yeah. How are you? Are you still going to your check ups?” 

Nico knew his parents. They would definitely not be thrilled to hear that their son was gay. He was supposed to carry the family name.

They would start to treat him differently. One distasteful comment here, another stereotype there. And the chaos that would ensue once he’d introduce Levi to them. It would make him hate them. And he didn’t want that, didn’t want to hate his parents. He didn’t want the silent tensions to build up until one day he’d blow up, cut contact and had to grieve them like all his friends and Levi did so before him. He didn’t want to spend his life wondering how his parents were doing, trying to spy on them through childhood friends whenever they went back home to see their mothers. 

“Okay. But make sure to really go to your appointments. Please.” 

_Maybe_ his parents might come around one day, apologize for their behavior, promising change, the usual. But who’s to say that Nico would even want their empty promises? And besides that, his parents apologizing to _him_ , their son? The concept of it was almost comical to Nico. It would have been if it wasn’t so damn heartbreaking at the same time.

“Good. Good.” Levi was gripping his knee. Nico placed his hand on top of it and leaned over to leave another kiss on Levi’s shoulder blade. 

It’s not like he wanted to hide Levi forever. If they married one day, he’d have to tell them, of course. 

Nico’s eyes grew wide at the thought. He quietly sighed against Levi’s skin and closed his eyes, trying to not think of that absolute frivolous fantasy of his. He didn’t even know what they were at the moment, but sure, imagine married life. 

“Nico? Oh he’s here, yeah.” Nico looked up, a smile forming. 

“Hey, Mrs. Schmitt!” He greeted enthusiastically. Levi chuckled softly against him. Nico loved the sound of it. 

“Yeah yeah, don’t worry. We’re going fine.” 

When did he start to think of a future with Levi again? The idea to one day just be married to Levi had slipped into his mind as naturally as the fact that the sky was blue or that caterpillars become total goo before they transform into butterflies. Nico shook his head again. 

“Mom. Mom I – I gotta go now, okay? I just wanted to check in.” 

This was difficult for him, Nico could tell. They used to talk a lot, _before_. 

“Okay, alright. I – Goodnight, mom. Take care.” Levi hung up and put his phone back onto the bedside table. 

“Ugh.” He slumped back against Nico’s chest, closing his eyes as the latter’s arms immediately found their way around Levi’s body, pulling him close. 

“How do you feel? 

“I don’t know. Weird, maybe?” Nico nodded. He slipped back under the blanket, guiding Levi to do the same. Pressing his body against Levi’s back, he buried his nose in his curls, inhaling the scent of lavender from the shampoo Levi had borrowed from Jo this morning. 

“You’re gonna be okay, babe,” he whispered, not even realizing the use of his old pet name for him until he felt Levi’s chuckle. 

“Yeah.” Levi turned around in his arms, one hand touching Nico’s cheek, the other one resting on his chest. “I got the feeling that maybe I will.” 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! if you enjoyed it, I'd be very happy if you left a comment.
> 
> You can also find me on tumblr as [orthoglasses](http://orthoglasses.tumblr.com/)!


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